it's for me

My office phone rang. This is almost notable in itself for several reasons: mostly because it doesn’t happen very often, but also because it’s been changed three times in the last month or so. Apparently we are ‘upgrading’ our ‘system’ here in the hopes it will be closer to possible to make phone calls like normal people. I picked up.

Me: Hello.
Her: Helloooo [crackling sound]
Me: Hello?
Her: Yes, hellooo [more crackling]

This is going to be good, I thought. I have no idea who this is so let’s commence with the niceties expected when answering the phone here. See, you don’t just identify yourself. You greet each other first and carry on a bit. It’s rude to just announce who it is without showing your interest in the other person’s wellbeing.

Me: How are you?
Her: Ah, I’m just fine, mma, how are you?
Me: I’m also fine, mma, thank you.
Her: This is Mma [garbled someone-or-other I couldn’t hear] calling from Main Campus.

Oh, crap. Maybe this isn’t going to be good. Someone actually initiating contact from Gabs is a bad sign. Bad. Now I’m nervous.

Her: And is this Dr. DeMotts?
Me: [oh well] Yes, mma, it is.
Her: Oh, good! How are you?
Me: I’m still fine, mma, thank you.
Her: Oh, good! And this is your extension, number 7239?
Me: Uhhh…yes, mma, it is. [you DID call ME, after all]
Her: Oh, good! Mma, I’m calling all the extensions in the book and checking to be sure they are right. See, we can call you from main campus now!

You have GOT to be kidding me. I choked back a powerful desire to laugh.

Me: Well, mma, yes, that’s pretty great. And good luck with all those phone calls.
Her: Yes, thank you! Thanks, mma.

And she hung up.